BANG!!!!!! 

  

Hinata jolted and sat bolt upright - 

  

The flames of the fire roared by him, the only source of light in the cottage. To his left, a gush of cold air scratched his face, which meant - 

  

The door. 

  

It was wide open. 

  

Darkness surrounded him like an audience. 

  

Breathe. 

  

'H-hello?' Hinata said to the darkness. 

  

But then - 

  

A pale white hand gripped the edge of the doorframe, with the little finger missing - 

  

'Tor -' 

  

Lurch. 

  

Hinata's stomach turned into a bucket of ice. 

  

'Toru!!!!??' 

  

Stumble. 

  

Oikawa had stumbled in, bent forward, that silhouette, that shape that he could barely make out familiar and pleasing to Hinata's eyes accept - 

  

Oikawa was clutching his side, panting, breathing like he was dying – 

  

'TORU -' 

  

Hinata bounded forward faster than an arrow - 

  

And when he reached his hand out, when he touched the figure of his best friend, slowly becoming more visible as Hinata's eyes adjusted, Toru felt wet - 

  

Those dark stains – 

  

Blood - 

  

'TORU WHAT HAPPENED? ARE YOU OK? Toru say something! Are you hurt? Where did you go? Why did you go without me -?' 

  

Every time Hinata's hands pressed against Oikawa's body, felt the squidge of cold, wet bloodied material and it made his insides squirm - 

  

'T-the – the wolf,' Oikawa rasped. 

  

'The wolf!?' 

  

'He's – he's in the forest -' 

  

Hinata's eyes enlarged. 

  

'Y-you must go,' Oikawa gripped Hinata's shoulder with one hand, holding his side with his other hand, as he lent down, his torso stretched in the gap between them, his weight on the hand holding Hinata. 

  

But Hinata pushed forward, tried to push up against him, to take his body weight, trying to support, trying to touch - 

  

Oikawa pressed his cheek against Hinata's, and whispered right into Hinata's ear - 

  

'You must kill it.' 

  

Frost shot up Hinata’s back. Hope nestled into his heart, beginning this ceremony with a rhythm like a steady, beating drum. 

  

BUMB. BUMB. BUMB - 

  

'Wh-what happened, Toru? How did you escape -??' 

  

'There's no time,' Oikawa sucked in breath, 'you must go before it leaves!' 

  

'I won't leave you like this!!' 

  

'You MUST!' 

  

Oikawa pushed himself up, away from Hinata - 

  

Hinata caught maddened fiery gold in Oikawa's eyes and had never seen it there before - 

  

'Your bow and arrow – fetch them quickly!!' 

  

And so Hinata threw himself wholeheartedly into trust. He ran and snatched up his bow and arrows as Oikawa lent on the wall of the cottage, puffing out instructions - 

  

'The creature - is big - with brown fur – attracted to – the colour red – quick! Get your cape – he eats boys like you – he has his end paw missing on the left – aim for the heart -' 

  

Hinata was tugging his boots on, cape on, bow and arrows on, rushing - 

  

If he did this, if he caught the wolf, if he actually killed it then - 

  

Hinata could taste chicken, could smell fresh bread in his nostrils, the sweetness of jam on his tongue - 

  

And even if the King of Cistren didn't reward them, well... 

  

A wolf is still a carcass of meat... 

  

'It was near – the edge – the edge of the forest – to the left – hurry! Run!' 

  

Hinata was about to burst out of the cottage when - 

  

Hands like pincers clamped down on his shoulders, whirled him round and - 

  

Kiss. 

  

Oikawa's bloodied guilty hands went to Hinata's innocent angel face, holding those cheeks, as Oikawa had lowered his head and kissed Hinata on the mouth. 

  

Eyes wide, heart pumping, blood gushing, Hinata felt the cold wetness of Oikawa's clothes full of blood – Oikawa's or the animals? Hinata didn't know – and the soft warmth of Oikawa's body underneath - 

  

The pressure and reassurance of that kiss but... 

  

Hinata tasted blood from Oikawa's mouth and a disgusting slippery substance like raw meat... 

  

But it was kiss, a full one, a proper one – not like the chaste thing they shared earlier – but a bold, declaring, despairing, hopeful kiss that fuelled Hinata with even more determination although why - 

  

Why - 

  

Why did the kiss feel so... final? Why was it like Oikawa didn’t want to let go? Why did he press his lips so long, so hard, so desperately until he couldn’t breathe? 

  

'Go,' Oikawa gasped, sucking in air. ‘Go now!!’ 

  

Hinata ran. He ran out into the darkness - 

  

Since that night of first snow, it had snowed more, and the biting cold had kept the white ice crystals in place. Hinata now hopped through preserved virgin snow – snow that was just below his ankles - 

  

He ran. Through snow, cold, wind – it could’ve been fire, storm, ice - through realms and realities, reaching - 

  

He would run through anything, anything at all, if it meant they would survive - 

  

Fortunately…

There was a full moon tonight. And the pearlescent snow reflected the moon, giving light to the ground, light which would’ve been soaked up, extinguished by the earth if the snow hadn’t been there. The moonlight graced his cloak, a beautiful shade of red, a dangerous shade of red, in the night.

Hinata followed the outskirts of the forest to the left. On the floor, splatters here and there -

Blood.

Oikawa’s?

The wolf’s?

What had happened between Oikawa and the wolf? How on earth had Oikawa even found it in the first place? And if the wolf had gotten close to Oikawa, how was he not shredded to pieces -?

SWISH.

Soft. A rustle. A breeze. 

Soundless. But there -

There - 

A giant claw gripped Hinata’s soul. Fear like nothing - not like that that time Natsu cut her lip open and wouldn’t stop bleeding, or that time his father got into a fight in the market when Hinata was a child, or just now, Oikawa bleeding, or the time he’d caught those two hares somehow, and had bled then too - not like that kind of fear; apparently fear had not yet had its fill of him, fear had not bitten into the very core of his being then, and sucked out all life and flesh and muscle from him, so that all he was was barely-standing bones, as he was now -   

Fear stood, looking at him, across the snow, ready to crush his bones in its jaws.

A creature, abnormally huge, stood, staring at him across the snow. Hinata could not see its eyes clearly from the distance except the glinting reflection of the moon. But the creature -

It knew Hinata was there, it stood, they stood, looking at each other. 

Hinata’s heart thudded in his chest so loud he was sure the wolf could hear it. 

Terror. Yes. But also…

What was this feeling?

As he stared at the wolf, and the wolf stared back at him… a strange magic filled the air. Hinata had longed for this. Had hoped for it. And now it was here right in front of him after dreams and dreams and dreams and now - this knowing? Impossible. What was this feeling in his chest? He was holding the bow and arrow ready in his hands, low, not poised but still… the sight of the beast had made the hairs on his neck stand on end, a natural, human reaction, immediate, uncontrollable, normal to threat and yet… 

It wasn’t that the sight wasn’t scary but something about it all felt -

Familiar.

Why?

Suddenly - 

A whimper.

Hinata stared.

The wolf had just whimpered. 

As if it were crying.

It collapsed. On its left side. Melting into snow.

And Hinata took two steps forward, involuntary, wanting to help the -

It got up again. Snow imprinted with blood.

It was wounded on its left.

It’s left side…

The creature was still staring at Hinata. But it wasn’t showing hostility.

And in Hinata’s heart an explosion of the craziest, most bizarre, insane possibility - 

But then -

A low grumble, as the beast suddenly bared its fangs at Hinata, eyes glowering in the dark. Hinata’s heart quickened in pace but the wolf looking at Hinata faltered and waned its resolved, and instead - threw its head up to the sky, opened it’s mouth and released a slow, painful, mourning sound as if it’s soul was leaving its body -

RIIIPPPPP -

Hinata was torn in two: it was the sound of a heart being carved out of a body; the sound of his heart at Grandma’s death.

A fresh resolve, the wolf kicked back snow with its hind legs, and this time, growled -

All teeth and gums and a trembling mouth, it snarled before bounding forward - 

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP -

The impact of its weight shook the ground, closer, closer now, at neck-breaking speed, pelting through the snow, paws and claws and fur, brown fur, beautiful brown fur, the most beautiful shade of brown Hinata had ever seen in his life -

SNARL - 

Blood on its side, blood on its back, Hinata stared at the creature hurtling closer, almost upon him and looked straight into the Wolf of the West’s eyes - 

The wolf’s eyes -

Those eyes…

A monstrous roar quivered through Hinata, the sound eating him up yet still he did not raise his bow as the wolf leapt -

And like time had been slowed, the final piece, the final answer, even as the beast’s heart and belly was exposed -

Hinata’s eyes went to its front padded paws reaching forward, soft and claw-less, with one small single finger of a paw missing -

Just like -

BOOF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Hinata’s back hit snow as the force of the great animal pinned him to the ground. It hurt but not as much as - 

Hnhh hnhh hhhnnnn -

The wolf was whimpering like a scared dog, eyes leaking tears that poured down its fluffy brown cheeks, as those one-in-a-million brown eyes stared down into Hinata’s -

And Hinata’s open heart collected every living, breathing tear. Careful, he released the bow in his right hand against the snow and then reached out -

He touched the soft strands of fur on the wolf’s face, and the creature nuzzled into his palm, sniffling.

And Hinata’s eyes filled to the brim and spilled over -

WHOOSH!!!! 

A whirl of white smoke and then -

The perfect form of Oikawa was holding him down against the snow, eyes streaming, the texture beneath Hinata’s palm now skin and wet tears -

‘WHY? Why???? Why -’

Hinata gripped his bow with his left hand as Oikawa kept saying that one word over and over again, crying on top of him - 

Oikawa was shaking and sobbing like nothing Hinata had ever seen before, and this apparition was far more terrifying than any wolf. 

‘Why Shoyo why? Why didn’t you shoot me???’ 

Hinata stroked Oikawa’s cheek before resting his arm back on the snow, and stretched his arms out like an angel.

‘I could never shoot you,’ Hinata whispered, tears streaking out of the corner of his eyes.

Oikawa wailed as if Hinata had shot him through the heart. 

He grabbed Hinata’s hair, lowered himself, and kissed the archer, heart and soul. Again, Hinata tasted something like blood and something else - raw and disgusting -

He broke the kiss otherwise he was going to be sick.

‘Don’t be mad at me. Please don’t be mad,’ Oikawa begged, his eyes searching Shoyo’s, misreading his actions.

‘I’m not mad Toru. You taste - strange -’

Oikawa’s eyes grew wide and filled up a new. Hinata was horrified to see the effect of his words: Oikawa started weeping and trembling and clutching Shoyo’s shoulders once again -

‘Forgive me Shoyo!! Forgive me! I am not a good person! I have done - terrible things to people! Things you would hate. I am - so ashamed -’

The grip on Hinata’s cape tightened as Oikawa disintegrated into tears, his howling sobs piercing the night.

‘You have nothing to be ashamed of, Toru.’ 

‘Don’t console me! You would not be saying such things if you knew -’

‘That you eat girls and boys, like me?’

Oikawa gaped at the boy under him, his tears still escaping, disbelief at hearing Hinata say something so horrific in such an insouciant way. 

‘That you ate someone. Just now. Before coming back to the cottage?’

Oikawa groaned and wept into his hands; the bitter truth was out and Oikawa knew what was coming, knew what would happen next -

His father, his mother, his brother and sister, every person he thought was his friend, every person he thought was his family, all of them - 

This curse, this thorn, this deformity - how he hated it so, yet how he could not change one single thing about it -

His lust for blood, the screams, the fear in his family’s eyes - 

Never accepted.

Always alone.

Forever alone.

Hated. And rightly so. Who would love a murderer? 

He had tried to suppress his instincts, his hunger, his needs and emotions… only for them to come back stronger than ever.

He had lost everyone he had ever loved. And he knew now, that this would never change.

‘Forgive me, Shoyo. Kill me now. And stake vengeance for every person I ever harmed, every person I ever ate, every family I ever ruined. Kill me and redeem me. Kill me and take me to Cistren. Kill me and the King will reward you, and you will live.’

Oikawa took the bow and pressed it against Hinata’s palm but Hinata’s hand stayed limp. 

‘Shoyo -’

‘I love you, Toru.’

Was the moon falling from the sky? Did a star knock into his head, and make him see things, hear things, more beautiful than his imagination? Was this why his lips trembled, why his eyes glistened, why he could not believe his ears -

‘What?’

‘I said I love you Toru. As a human or as a wolf. Even if you ate one person, or ten, or twenty, or two hundred -’

‘Shoyo -’

‘It doesn’t change who you are to me!! It’s not your fault you are a wolf! You didn’t ask for this life it was thrust upon you -!’

‘I am not blameless, Sho! I have eaten young people who have not had a chance to live life! I have eaten old people, and in my early days as a wolf - ch-ch-children -’ Oikawa yowled once again, the sound of one having been tormented for years. ‘I do not deserve -’ 

‘Any person would’ve done the same, Toru! Anyone! If anyone was given a craving for human flesh, if anyone was transformed into a wolf - you cannot blame yourself! I am amazed - that you haven’t eaten me!’

Oikawa’s eyes darkened, and from the depths of his soul, his best kept secret, bubbled to the surface - 

‘I thought about it,’ Oikawa whispered, searching Hinata’s eyes. ‘Plenty of times.’

There.

Finally.

Oikawa’s deepest, darkest, most shameful secret - out.

He studied those amber crystals looking for the final verdict.

‘What now, Sho? Do you see me now? Do you understand??? You tasted human flesh from my kiss, you know I have thought about devouring you far, far too many times - and and Grandma too!! I have eaten humans of all ages - and tonight I went back to Cistren to try and steal some food for you only to come across the King’s guards - they chased me into the forest and I led them away from you and in doing so I ate two of them -’

Hinata’s hand reached out and stroked the base of Oikawa’s neck. Involuntarily, the touch shot down Oikawa, to his loins, but the hand gripped the hem of Oikawa’s shirt that was full of sweat, and Hinata pulled Oikawa to him -

And kissed him.

Hinata lifted his head, up off the ground and wrapped his arms around Oikawa’s neck, as he tasted all of Oikawa’s sins, and soaked up all of Oikawa’s tears with his cheeks. Oikawa shook in Hinata’s arms and it just made Hinata want to kiss him more, hold him more, reassure him more.

Hinata broke the kiss, still with his arms around Oikawa’s neck and stared deeply into the wolf’s eyes -

‘You are my family, Toru. No matter what you say, no matter what you do, I still love you. Do you see me now? Do you understand?? I, love, you -’

Oikawa kissed him again, this time differently. Frenzied, mad, hungry - Oikawa’s hands groped and grabbed at Hinata, stroked and took and felt -

Even if the moon dropped from the sky, even if the stars swooped down and attacked him, even if the world condemned him - Oikawa had the sun. And the sun was all he needed.

He would devour Hinata - in another way. Oikawa wanted to kiss and adore and make love to Hinata then and there - even in the freezing cold, soaking in blood, sweat and tears, even if he had lost so much blood, the rest of it seemed to be racing round his heart and traveling to his nether regions -

 

‘I love you Shoyo -’ Oikawa whispered into those starry eyes and Oikawa’s filled up once again. ‘Actually, I - I worship you.’

Hinata’s eyes grew wide. 

‘I love you and I worship you and I will spend the rest of my life, whatever time we have left, serving you and putting you first. I have never had someone -’ Oikawa’s voice wavered, ‘anyone,’ and finally broke, ‘accept me.’

Shimmer. 

The moon fell, the stars dropped, one by one, from the sky -

But the sun wrapped its arms around Oikawa, protecting him, shielding him, from every judgment, every opinion, every rejection he’d ever had. The world had pronounced him guilty but Shoyo had pronounced him free. The guillotine he deserved, the punishment - exonerated. The weight of years and years and years of self-hatred, of self-loathing, of regret, burnt to ashes by the power of the sun. The sun cradled the wolf in its arms like it was rocking a baby.

Oikawa wept, redeemed. He wept, now free.   

  

He wept, for the first time in his life - 

Happy.