Hinata knew what would come next. He knew what his words would do.
But when a tall figure stepped into Sunny’s the very next evening it was not the tall figure Hinata was expecting.
Silence.
A stop.
The world paused in that moment.
Beyond sense, or rhyme or reason, suddenly he was there – head-to-toe in black, in black for fuck’s sake as if it wasn’t thirty degrees outside in the middle of July, with those piercing, sorrowful eyes –
It was as if a sleeping dragon in Hinata had woke –
No.
Not sleeping.
Waiting.
It had been waiting, poised, ready, raring, with impaling fangs, boiling blood and incinerating breath –
‘Ka – ge – ya -ma!’
Hinata ran forward –
He pulled back his arm –
BOOF!
His right fist collided with Kageyama’s left cheek, the impact making the taller crow stagger, trip, and fall –
Before Kageyama could even register what was going on, the back of his head had hit the wooden floorboards, the soft click of a gun reached his ears, and cool metal pressed into his forehead. A gentle, familiar weight sat on top of him.
‘WHY?!’
Hinata’s voice, shaking with rage and tears.
‘Why did you?!? Why?!’
So. The idiot had figured it out.
Kageyama stared past the gun to the wooden beams of the ceiling and the straw roof.
He closed his eyes.
What had he expected? The sun to shine? Those beautiful features to beam? Open arms, slow-motion, running across a beach?
Tch.
Yeah. In his dreams.
Kageyama took a deep breath.
‘You know why,’ Kageyama murmured. ‘But I – I only thought – he would be taken North -’
‘You’re LYING!’
The cold barrel of a gun pushed deeper still against Kageyama’s forehead. Was this it? Was this how he would die? Three years of being a crow. Three years of pissing everyone off. Three years of being certain someone would just pop him off on a street corner one day, sick of his face, and that would be the end of that.
But no.
Maybe it was better… to die… at the hands of someone you loved…
Kageyama opened his eyes. He peered down. Hinata was straddling him, sitting on his stomach, with a snarl more ferocious than a wolf.
The ginger was in denim shorts, exposing girlish legs, and a pink shirt dotted with flamingos. So very different from the suit and tie Kageyama was used to seeing Hinata in, day in, day out.
But still. So cute. So pretty. Always. Fucking always.
It also did not help, the fact that Kageyama was pretty sure that the last time they’d had sex was in a very similar position.
‘You followed me, didn’t you?’ Hinata gritted his teeth. ‘DIDN’T YOU? That was how you found his location, that was how you knew where his Toda apartment was, which explains why you had that dip in your business profits so severely in April. You stalked me, didn’t you? ANSWER ME!!’
In some strange perverse way, Kageyama felt a soothing relief at the truth being out.
‘I did,’ Kageyama replied, face passive –
WHACK!
Scorching pain seared Kageyama’s right cheek from the sting and impact of the cold, hard gun. Suddenly the barrel was up against his forehead once again. Ha. It had been a long time since someone had hit Kageyama in the face with a gun.
‘If you’re going to kill me. There’s one thing I’d like you to tell me before you do.’
A pause.
Good.
Some rationality behind the flames.
Any other time Kageyama wouldn’t have. Any other person, Kageyama wouldn’t have bothered. But he could see murder in Hinata’s eyes and had not seen it before: not on months of making threats together, when Hinata was the charismatic one and Kageyama was the threatening one, not on morning strolls through Tokyo deciding who to target next, not in the basement of an aggressive meth dealer when Hinata had turned feral, not in scraps they’d gotten into with thugs on the street.
Murder was here, it was possible, it had been done –
Hinata had killed Ushiwaka, the leader of The Eagles, in cold blood.
He was not the same person.
And all because of –
A single tear escaped Kageyama’s eye. And this too did nothing to soften the blazing sun before him.
‘Well?’ Hinata breathed. ‘What is it?’
Was it even worth asking?
Hinata had never resisted. The first time Kageyama had kissed the redhead was in the middle of an argument they’d had. It was just after they’d picked up their loan from the Koji’s, who’d borrowed money to set up an Edo-period-themed strip club. Hinata had been too soft, too forgiving, and had only negotiated twenty percent of all profits instead of thirty, like Kageyama knew they could get.
They’d been arguing more and more frequently, and the tension between them had become as thick as concrete.
It wasn’t Hinata’s fault. Kageyama had known this. He knew that from the moment Hinata had walked into their den, that little cute orange-haired wide-eyed thing, dirty, stinking of street, he’d been pwned.
More still, after the ginger had scrubbed up and was presented as the latest crow, Kageyama had seen it too, how everyone had swooned. Hinata had been so grateful, so happy, so delighted to be a crow, so willing to do anything, it was impossible not to like him. His presence lit up the room, his attitude made anything possible; he was the missing piece The Crows had never known they’d needed.
Nothing was too hard, no ocean too wide, no mountain too high. And of all the people he could’ve been teamed up with, he was teamed up with Kageyama.
And Kageyama had watched, in jealous awe, how Hinata had swanned his way through the underworld like a pro even on his first week. His likability was undefeatable, his charm, irresistible, and Kageyama had lurked like a shadow as Hinata became stronger, brighter, warmer, hotter – innocence was replaced with confidence, smiles with smirks, words with looks. There were touches. Glances. Insinuations. And Kageyama could say nothing – what could he say – when what Hinata did worked?
Their third run-in with The Cats, Kageyama had caught it, in the backyard, Hinata trying to stave off Kenma Kozume – he’d kissed him.
And the bitter, twisting, gnarling fury that boomed through Kageyama vibrated louder than anything Kageyama had ever felt before.
But for Kageyama, the worst was still to come.
Flirtatious Hinata was unstoppable. He left a trail of fire in his wake. Sometimes he wouldn’t even have to do anything: a smile here, a wink there – it was something to do with the way Hinata made people feel that got them to agree or pay up so quickly. And yet, not a single morsel was thrown Kageyama’s way, nothing more than a breathtaking smile.
Another run-in with The Cats and Kageyama had seen, with sickening panic, Hinata lead Kuroo Tetsuro to a side room with just a look… Ten minutes later, Hinata returned wiping his mouth and Kuroo doing up his zip. Kageyama had wanted to smash something. Anything. Punch the windows in, kick the doors down, shoot holes in the wall.
No remorse from Hinata. No regret. No shame.
That was when the arguments had really started to become heated.
More clashes with The Cats, purely because Hinata was crossing into their territory, a few more sexual favours and everything was fine, smoothed out. To some degree. But Kageyama had never felt more jagged, more turbulent or disturbed.
Or more jealous.
That day after Koji’s, Hinata had finally confronted Kageyama about all his stifling nitpicking and micromanaging, and it was like a dam had been released. They both screamed and shouted at each other in an empty alleyway. But when Hinata had taken a step closer, eyes sparkling in anger, his whole body passionate with rage, Kageyama could no longer resist –
The taller crow dived, latching his lips onto his comrade’s – he felt a second of shock beneath him and then – peace. No protest. Kageyama kissed Hinata with five months’ worth of desire. And Hinata… let him.
After ten minutes of purely kissing, Kageyama had pulled away to see a horrifying sight –
It was the sight he saw every time Hinata had made another deal, pushed another boundary, coaxed more money out of someone –
A look of triumph.
That pride, that knowing, that look –
I’ve got you.
I’ve got you and you know that I know that you’re mine.
It had scared Kageyama. But even worse than that.
It had made him want Hinata even more.
And of all days, that was the day, when they’d arrived back at HQ, the elders announced that Hinata would hereafter be working alone, unless he specifically requested accompaniment, seeing as he’d boosted their profits by 300 percent. And Hinata never requested anyone after that.
What went on in those deals Hinata made alone? On the edges of Minato, Setagaya and Toshima? Kageyama’s mind went wild. His reason drove him to despair. He no longer worked with the newest crow so he had no way of knowing.
On Friday evenings at Dozos, The Crows’ favourite club, Hinata would still flirt and pick up any girl who liked a pretty guy –
But to Kageyama, all of it, started not to matter.
Because when Kageyama first showed up at Hinata’s penthouse apartment, drunk at three in the morning on a Thursday night, Hinata had still opened the door, Kageyama had still groped and grabbed and felt and touched and taken with his hands, and Hinata had still let him.
When Kageyama had pulled off layers, Hinata let him.
When Kageyama kissed bare skin, Hinata let him.
And when Kageyama had tested with his hand, Hinata wasn’t flaccid, and so, surely, there was some desire in return?
Kageyama knew he was one of the best-looking Crows. Girls flocked to him easily in bars and nightclubs and he pulled whoever he wanted.
So why did Hinata feel so different?
A mantra repeated itself in Kageyama’s head every time he fucked Hinata:
You’re mine.
When he tore off clothes and pushed the little crow onto the bed – you’re mine. When he bit and licked and sucked Hinata – you’re mine.
No matter where you go, no matter who you go with, no matter how high you fly –
You’re mine.
Kageyama said it, to himself and to Hinata, in lips, hands, groans, rhythms.
Most of the time, when Kageyama woke the next day, in his bed or Hinata’s, the cute crow would be gone. One time, Kageyama had woken to find Hinata staring at the ceiling, arms behind his head, as if dreaming awake. He’d wanted to ask the crow what he was thinking but when Hinata had realised Kageyama was awake, he got up, out of bed, and didn’t return.
They never spoke about it.
And then – suddenly. Hinata started arriving later on Friday evenings at Dozos looking flushed and flustered. Regularly. Kageyama tasted the bile that rose to his throat at the fire dancing in Hinata’s eyes but –
It couldn’t have been to do with sex because when Kageyama staked his claim, Hinata still went along with it.
In fact, during this time, Hinata had gone along with it more passionately than usual…
And then – Hinata stopped showing up. At the clubs, at the bars they often frequented on Friday nights. Saturday nights too.
Kageyama pounded on Hinata’s door. No response.
Where was he? The Crows didn’t know. And the elders didn’t care. Hinata was raking in five times the amount they usually took in. Hinata could basically do what he liked and no one would bat and eyelid.
So where was he? Where did he go?
Kageyama waited for hours one Saturday morning. For hours. Nothing. He waited again on the Sunday. He peed in a nearby alley, his eyes still glued to the front entrance of Park Court Shibuya –
A black limousine purred up to the curb.
From where Kageyama stood, he saw the back of the limo, saw the sleek inside of the back car door as it opened and out came a beautiful boy with orange hair. Hinata gently pushed closed the door. Before Kageyama even had a chance to breathe, a pale slender hand shot out from the open window and pulled the boy back towards the car –
Hinata’s head disappeared for a moment in what could only be for one thing –
A kiss.
Hinata then stepped back, holding that pale hand tightly in his own through the open window, grinning ear to ear, blushing like a girl.
He didn’t want to let go.
And in that moment, Kageyama had reached into his inner jacket pocked, and taken out a gun.
But the next second – the limo was driving away and Hinata had vanished into his apartment block.
Kageyama had stood in the shadows, heart pounding, gun in hand, shaking.
It had taken Kageyama another month just to find out the identity of the pale slender hand. And when he did, it chilled him to the bone. This was not someone who could be taken out with a few clicks of his gun without any repercussions. No. And there was no way, no way at all Kageyama could ever get close to someone like that. This was someone who would have Kageyama’s head on a platter if he had any idea of what Kageyama wanted to do… It could not be by Kageyama’s doing. It could not be obvious. There had to be a way to have the head wolf –
Removed.
Kageyama had heard rumours, long before Hinata had arrived, that The Eagles had wanted the head wolf as their own but that he had declined every time. Apparently they had offered him a generous territory with numerous benefits. Still, the wolf had declined.
Were The Eagles still interested? Would they still try? If they knew the exact location of the Big Bad Wolf, could they, would they, steal him away? And what was more, if The Cats approached The Eagles with this information, and asked for help, it would never be traced back to Kageyama, right?
All Kageyama would have to do, would be to slip some information anonymously to The Cats about The Crows’ startling progress and the head wolf’s location and Kenma was smart – he would figure that the only clan The Cats could approach to stifle their rivals would be The Eagles…
The Bears and The Monkeys were too far away… And no other gang cared as much about the location of the head wolf more than The Eagles…
The Cats wouldn’t dare approach The Wolves first mentioning their location for fear of arousing suspicion… And the information of Oikawa’s location would not be leverage for The Wolves if they a) already knew where he lived and b) The Cats could not prove the source. And once The Eagles landed in Crow territory, no – even before that – Kageyama could sound the alarm, get everyone to their safe houses and what would The Eagles take from them? The few businesses they had on the outskirts that infringed Cat territory anyway? They’d lose a bit of money but – so what? If it meant that the Big Bad Wolf got misplaced, that the person Hinata was spending so much time with, went away…
There was no other way.
How was Kageyama to know that the entire pack of Wolves would get involved too? How could Kageyama have predicted that instead of going to his safe house, Hinata would rush to the aid of the head wolf instead? And how on earth could he have guessed that Ushiwaka was not looking to recruit but to kill?
Two bullets were fired. One person died. The other injured.
Iwaizumi was the one who had told The Crows that Hinata had disappeared.
That Hinata and Oikawa had been –
Kageyama closed his eyes. His heart sank into oblivion. The question he was going to ask, he already had the answer to. In a way, he was already dead. But still. The kisses he took, the bed they’d shared, the body he’d possessed…
‘What,’ Kageyama gulped and opened his eyes, ‘was I to you? Why did you… let me?’
That harsh expression on Hinata’s face softened but only by a fraction.
‘You were a crow,’ Hinata replied, as a matter of fact, as if this explained everything.
‘So?’
‘You were family.’
‘So you fuck your family?’
‘That’s not what I meant!’ Hinata growled through gritted teeth, pushing harder against Kageyama’s skull, making the taller crow regret what he’d just said. ‘I mean The Crows were everything to me. And I was so grateful to belong. I would’ve done anything to make you all happy. And you, out of everyone, looked so alone and so sad… I felt sorry for you.’
There it was.
Kageyama slumped back so that his head hit the floor again.
The truth he never wanted to hear.
All he was, was Hinata Shoyo’s – the greatest gangster to have ever graced Tokyo’s backstreets – sympathy fuck.
‘Kill me now,’ Kageyama said.
‘You never answered my question.’
‘What question?’
Was this conversation really still happening? Kageyama extended his arms out like a dead starfish and stared at the ceiling.
BANG!!!
Kageyama jolted.
His torso shot back up, his hands felt his head, his chest for warm, wet, blood –
He came face to face with a thunderous Hinata, who was still steadily aiming that gun at his face.
Why was there no pain?
‘I shot the wall. Look me in the eye when I’m talking to you. Especially as you owe me an explanation as to why you put my life, your life, everyone’s life on the fucking line -’
‘You know why -’
‘SAY IT.’
What was his life worth now? To say or not to say, it would make no difference.
Kageyama stared into Hinata’s eyes.
‘I love you. That’s why I did it.’
Hinata faltered. He swallowed, his arm shook, his resolve stammered.
‘No, you don’t.’
‘I do.’
‘Love doesn’t do that, Kageyama.’
‘Do what?’
‘Try and take away the person your love loves the most.’
Hinata’s lips trembled. His eyes watered. And then that was it. The little crow began to cry, the gun shook in his hands.
‘Did you really want me – to be that miserable? Did you want to see me suffer that badly?’
Kageyama gulped. ‘That wasn’t my intention -’
‘THEN WHAT THE FUCK WAS??? Did you honestly think I would be happy if Oikawa joined The Eagles and went North? Do you?!!?’
‘I – I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted… you. That’s all I wanted.’
With streaming filmic eyes, Hinata lent the gun on Kageyama’s chest and used the pressure to push himself up off of the taller crow, so that he could stand and move away from that tiresome body. Hinata sniffed and wiped his nose with his arm as he walked towards the bar, his back to Kageyama.
Kageyama scrambled to his feet. ‘Hinata. Please. I came today to say I’m sorry -’
‘Get out.’
Hinata had said it so quietly, Kageyama wasn’t sure if he had heard correctly.
‘Hinata -’
Hinata whirled around. His expression was the most venomous Kageyama had ever seen it: lines for features, bloodshot eyes, razor sharp teeth.
‘I said leave.’
Kageyama hesitated.
‘The only person,’ Hinata whispered with eyes like daggers, ‘you have ever cared for, this whole time, has been yourself. I am now telling you what I want. I want you to leave. Can you do that for me?’
Kageyama broadened his chest. When he spoke, it was with a determination he did not feel.
‘Fine. I’ll go. Because I know this: I know you’ll be back. You’re a crow. You’re a crow for life. So am I. So I will wait for you in Tokyo.’
Kageyama paused. He wasn’t sure what but he felt like he was waiting for something. A bullet, perhaps? A final word from Hinata? An affirmation?
But Kageyama received none of those things. Hinata stared at him with an expression more scorching than a desert sun. Kageyama bowed his head, and left.
And Hinata, still holding the gun, collapsed on the floor, and wept.