Oikawa headed off in the direction of his home mulling over everything that had just happened. It felt like the sun had set not into oblivion but into his belly instead.

Why did you take four days to text me back?

Hinata’s words buzzed through him like a dose of fine nicotine. He knew Hinata wasn’t like him; Oikawa could fool most people on most days but chibi-chan wore his heart on his sleeve with no control. The shrimp didn’t work on a level of games and ulterior motives – ‘what you see is what you get’ was who the spiker was. So everything Hinata had just said had come from a pure heart with no strings attached.

Not to mention the little crow had no idea how Oikawa had felt since their grand goodbye. Hinata didn’t know that the rest of that Sunday, Oikawa’s home felt more barren than a graveyard. 

He didn’t know the loneliness that had been injected into Oikawa from his absence. And he never would have imagined that on that Sunday night, in the dark, on those same sheets, Oikawa had lain, face down, dick out, moving to the leftover fragrance of Hinata…

Oikawa had been truthful. Just not upfront. 

The weekend with Hinata had him so riled up despite his self-gratification that he’d used the back of his fingers to text his usual options. Even with his mother over, on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday night he’d met three different  girls. He’d told his mom he was seeing friends but she wasn’t born yesterday. 

Tuesday was Yui and ended in an argumentative mess at hers as usual. Thursday he’d rescheduled the date from the girl he was meant to have met at the cafe; she gave him nothing so it was back to his usual bet of Misaki on Saturday night.

The problem?

On Saturday night Oikawa had laid on his back in Misaki’s bed with her curled under his right armpit. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and now Saturday. Every day. Oikawa had not stopped thinking about Hinata. He couldn’t. And now it had crept in even when he was having sex, the feel of these fantastic feminine bodies fulfilled his lust but not much else. Yui. Misaki. He felt nothing. And in those moments, he recalled the care from Hinata’s hands, his trembling body, receiving lips…

There was no way Hinata had any idea that it had taken Oikawa every bit of strength to wait those four days, Sunday to Thursday, before texting him back.

Oikawa had known from the moment the crow had flown that he had to forget about Hinata. Sure he would teach the bird how to serve. That innocent creature had saved his life from being wrecked and tended to his injured hands. Plus he’d made a promise. And the temptations and pain that would go hand in hand with that he would bear. But he could not expect anything more from the spiker. He was the one who owed Hinata but Hinata owed him nothing. They had been thrown together – Hinata had saved his life – he’d tried his best to take care of the darling – and that was the end of that. The middle blocker would go back to usual life at Karasuno with no more feelings for Oikawa other than gratitude.

Or so Oikawa had thought.

Why did you take four days to text me back?

Those weren’t words from gratitude. No. Quite the opposite. They were words from expectation.

Will you text me and call me?

I spent all of last week worried.

I care how you are.

I wanted to see you too.

Oikawa had tried so hard. Lying in bed with Misaki at one in the morning last Saturday night, he’d texted Hinata and congratulated  himself for not texting the underclassman more. He was not going to get  his hopes up in a Hinata-text-a-thon when the little Karasuno member was  just being grateful and friendly.

But now.

No.

Oikawa could not give into these emotions just yet even though he itched to dive into a sea of delight. It was too early. Too unclear.

As Oikawa got home and embraced his mother he relied on that one truth: Time would tell.

His hands had been his biggest concern the past week and they were still his top priority. He hadn’t minded but even in sex he had had to take a more passive role to not aggravate them. Yui had enjoyed riding Oikawa like a cowgirl in angry sex and Oikawa had managed to fuck Misaki in the missionary position, relying on his upper body strength by alternating between leaning on his elbows and forearms.

Back at school, his hands were the main attraction but to his teammates, their main worry. Like Hinata, Oikawa had not told a soul at school what had actually happened in the earthquake. Rather, Oikawa had saved himself and crawled under the table like a war hero. And like Hinata, Oikawa sat in on practice although he didn’t participate, and whipped away any verbal abuse from his best friend.

On Tuesday during practice, while Kindaichi was talking to Oikawa he suddenly noticed –

‘Dude – your tie is stained.’

Oikawa’s eyes glinted. ‘I know.’

‘It looks like… is that – blood?!’

Oikawa’s lips curled into a smile. ‘Well spotted.’

That night, Hinata sent a text:

Thank you for the lesson yesterday Oikawa senpai. How are you, how was school and how are your hands?

Oikawa texted back:

You are most welcome shrimpy shrimp. I feel much better now that I’ve seen you and wish you were at Aoba Johsai. My hands still hurt but are feeling better every day. How are you?

Hinata:

I feel better now that I’ve seen you too. I felt good in practice today although some of my teammates said I was off. I tried practising serves but everyone kept laughing at me. Why do you wish I was Aoba Johsai?

Oikawa:

They’re laughing now but not for much longer… pleased to hear you feel better. Why do you think I want you at AJ?

Hinata stared at the screen, his heart ricocheting between his ribs. I can’t believe I feel this way over texts. Suddenly, his phone started ringing. He was so surprised he almost dropped it.

Oikawa.

‘H-hello?’ Hinata stuttered, for some reason, standing up from his desk.

‘Yahoo chibi-chan! Where are you?’

‘I’m – I’m in my room. Where are you, Oikawa-san?’

‘I’m outside on my doorstep where I said goodbye to you.’

Hinata felt his heartbeat in his throat.

‘Can you talk, kohai?’

‘Mm hm,’ Hinata barely managed.

‘So. Why do you think I want you at Aoba Johsai?’

Hinata knew he’d longed for Oikawa to call him but now that it was here, he wasn’t so sure he could take it –

‘I – I-’ Hinata already knew that Oikawa would say something that would send him into overdrive. ‘I don’t know.’

Oikawa sighed. ‘Maybe one day I’ll tell you.’

‘Do your hands hurt? Making this call?’

Oikawa wanted to lie but strangely found that he couldn’t so he said nothing.

‘I should let you go -’

‘I can bear the pain chibi-chan, it’s fine.’

‘But I can’t. I… don’t want you to be in pain.’

Oikawa closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose.

‘I was being selfish,’ Hinata said. ‘I don’t want you to call me or text me if it hurts you.’

‘Whether I do or don’t it’s going to hurt me either way.’

Hinata wasn’t sure what Oikawa meant but all he knew was that he wished the setter was in the room with him right now so he could comfort Oikawa.

‘I’m going to go,’ Hinata determined. ‘I’ll see you on Monday.’

But he couldn’t hang up. Neither could Oikawa. They stayed on the line, silent. A closeness, a silence, they recognised.

‘Oikawa-san.’

‘Hinata.’

A few seconds later Hinata hung up. His blood pulsed in his ears. Anything. In that moment Hinata would’ve given anything to be able to hold Oikawa again.

Well before he knew it.

Monday had arrived.

Hinata was intrigued. On Sunday night he had received a text from Oikawa which said:

Chibi-chan, can you ask your mom if it’s OK if you’re home around nine tomorrow?

Less than sixty seconds later Hinata had assured Oikawa that it was fine.

Now. Here they were again. But this time, they knew, was different. It had rained during the day so the ground was wet. Hinata put down his bike and Oikawa had already placed his bag in a dry spot under a tree. They stood a couple of meters apart with Hinata clutching the volleyball. He was still in his practice gear and Oikawa, like last week, was in his school uniform.

The sadness that shrouded Hinata since their official parting post-earthquake had not left Hinata but since their Tuesday phone call it had slightly lessened. The daily dreams, recollections and frequent ponderings about Oikawa hadn’t stopped. The desire to touch Oikawa hadn’t waned either. And at night, when Hinata masturbated, he fantasised that it was someone else touching him, and he imagined dark arrogant eyes, porcelain skin and a bloodied hand near his thigh…

Three hours. Hinata thought. That’s how much time I have with him today.

This time, Hinata felt Oikawa’s eyes watch him differently to last week, felt the setter survey his sweat and rosy cheeks, even the way Oikawa spoke was more familiar and intimate than last week’s cheeriness.

‘You’re doing really well, we need to focus on your aim and power next.’

An hour later, Hinata was at least able to follow Oikawa’s instructions and hit the ball more powerfully than he could before by serving all the way through and fully swinging his right arm. This new technique wasn’t high enough though and still kept hitting the net.  Nevertheless, in the space of two weeks, Hinata knew what made a good serve and could hit the ball straight towards the opposing team with  force.

Oikawa stared at Hinata. Sweat dripped down his forehead, and his cheeks were flushed. The sound of his breathlessness flicked a switch on inside Oikawa. The spiker’s face glistened and his eyes sparkled with passion.

Oikawa turned and collected his bag to stop the teasing thoughts in his mind. Hinata wiped the sweat from his brow and picked up his bike.

‘You’re a fast learner aren’t you, chibi-chan?’

‘Oh thanks! Well, not as fast as I’d like to be. Where to now?’

As darkness softly descended upon them, they proceeded to exit the park.

‘Just some place I wanted to take you. You may have been there before.’

Hinata followed Oikawa towards the familiar roads of Natori until they reached –

Hinata gasped –

They’d stopped outside a well-known kobe beef restaurant, rumoured to be one of the best in Miyagi. It was quite a pricey place and the people he’d heard that had eaten here only came for special occasions or birthdays.

‘You must be hungry, chibi-chan.’ Oikawa smiled. ‘So this is my treat.’

Before Hinata could respond, Oikawa had already walked into the restaurant. Hinata found a spot for his bike outside and then stumbled in after him. The place wasn’t too luxurious but Hinata still felt out of place covered in evaporated sweat and in his volleyball uniform. Not to mention Oikawa was in his school uniform too…

‘Oikawa-san…’

‘Oh hey!’ Oikawa greeted someone who worked here and then entered into general chit chat about their families. He introduced Hinata as a friend and then they were taken to seats at the far end of the bar, over-looking the chefs in the open kitchen.

‘Oikawa-san,’ Hinata muttered, ‘are you sure this is OK? I’m still in my volleyball uniform -’

‘Don’t you worry, chibi-chan, my sister is best friends with the daughter of the owner,’ Oikawa carefully peeled off his bag and sat on the stool.

Hinata glanced around. No one seemed bothered by them at all. Hinata clambered onto the stool next to Oikawa. His left knee grazed the setter’s. Hinata then realised –

They were sat so close: side to side, hip to hip, if Oikawa hadn’t turned and faced Hinata on his stool. Hinata’s eyes flicked onto Oikawa’s, whose dark brown gems twinkled mischievously back at him. The little crow blushed but refused to drop his gaze; he had longed for this back, craved for this, for two whole weeks.

‘This place looks expensive. You don’t have to treat me -’

‘Oh I want to treat you. Besides. I won’t let someone younger pay for me. Have you been here before?’

Hinata shook his head. ‘No but I’ve always wanted to.’

Oikawa grinned. ‘Even better. Do you want to have a look at the menu?’

Hinata opened it and gawped at the prices.

‘You’re not treating me -’

‘Hinata.’

The spiker looked up. And forgot to breathe. Oikawa had leaned in ever so slightly closer, just a hair but Hinata felt it. Oikawa’s face, sculpted by angels, was less than a forearm away. Hinata could just grab his tie –

‘It’s OK,’ Oikawa half-grinned, his eyes earnest.

Damn it. I can never win with him like this.

‘Fine. You may have won this time but on the court I’m beating you.’

Oikawa snorted. ‘Next time we play I’ll have you begging for mercy.’

Oikawa hadn’t intended to but his last words hung in the air like a lit match that finally fell into a pool of petrol. He couldn’t help check the little crow’s reaction; roses had bloomed on his cheeks, full and red, but, indignant almost, the spiker didn’t look away.

He’s getting good at withstanding me, Oikawa smirked, I’ll have to up my game if I want more of a reaction…

‘Do you know what you want?’ Oikawa asked suggestively.

Hinata’s gaze drifted back to the menu but the blush was still there. They agreed on kobe beef with sansho daikon ponzu, rice and pickled vegetables. After the waiter took the menu, Oikawa noticed that the little spiker was looking down and nervously pressing both of his thumbs together.

‘Chibi-chan, I can afford to treat you and I want to treat you so -’

‘Can I ask you something?’ he looked up and met Oikawa’s gaze, his eyes innocent and inquisitive.

That face would melt the North Pole, Oikawa thought.

‘Of course.’

‘Did you end up seeing that girl you were meant to date at the cafe?’

That question brought one more brick, in Oikawa’s protective wall, down. Hinata’s curiosity pleased him far more than it should have.

‘I did.’

‘Oh. Do you… like her?’

‘Not as much.’

‘Not as much?’

As you. Dummy.

‘Not as much as I thought I would,’ Oikawa sighed.

‘Are you… sad about that?’

Oikawa lent an elbow on the table and his cheek on his knuckles. He stared at his captor, hopelessly. That cute, unguarded, candid captor who had no idea what he’d caught. And yet deep down Oikawa knew – it was all these wonderful traits of Hinata’s that had led the setter to walk into this cage in the first place.

‘Not at all,’ Oikawa murmured, his eyes hypnotic, unblinking.

The force of Oikawa’s penetrative stare made Hinata drop his gaze. He suddenly realised that both he and Oikawa were now facing each other on the stools, Oikawa with his legs splayed and Hinata with his legs together. If he reached his arms out he could touch Oikawa – hold him –  and fall into his body, where Hinata longed to be. The middle blocker closed his eyes and frowned, briefly. When he opened them again, the cobra was still watching.

‘Chibi-chan,’ Oikawa whispered. ‘You’re so interesting. You’re like the sea. Some times you’re crystal clear to me and at other times you’re unfathomable.’

‘Really? That’s how you seem to me too. Although to be honest, most of the time I find you hard to read.’

‘That’s not your fault. I made myself that way.’

Hinata blinked. ‘Why?’

Oikawa shrugged. ‘I suppose the reason most people do – to control, to impress, to protect themselves.’

Hinata considered what Oikawa said for a moment. ‘How would that protect you?’

‘Well… the less someone knows about you the less they can use against you.’

Hinata processed that rational. And decided that he didn’t like it. ‘But then… that means you’re always withholding something… and that you can’t fully trust anyone because you’re expecting them to betray you…’  Hinata stared into the attentive eyes of Oikawa. ‘So you’ll never fully share who you are and wouldn’t that just make you -’

Hinata was taken back – to that sofa, to those photographs, to that conversation – when Hinata surveyed Oikawa’s life in pictures.

‘ – lonely?’ Hinata finished. ‘That’s what you said that day to me. But if you risk people knowing what you’re thinking and who you are… yes it’s a risk and they can betray you but then you’d – you’d know who was your real friend and who wasn’t. And even if some people betray you, those who stick by your side you know you can trust because you’ve shown them who you are without protecting yourself. And in the end, you’ll be less lonely.’

Oikawa’s face gave nothing away. Hinata suddenly shrank back.

‘F-forgive me, Oikawa-san!’ Hinata bowed his head towards the setter, repentant. ‘For speaking out of turn, I shouldn’t have -’

‘Hinata.’

The way Oikawa had said his name made the spiker look up. It was with a tenderness and intimacy Hinata hadn’t heard, not since the earthquake. The captain had also leaned in ever so slightly.

‘Never change.’ Oikawa said. ‘Not ever. Always be like this. Be exactly who you are.’

Oikawa moved back and watched the fledgling, trying not to laugh at Hinata’s wide, open expression.

‘You’re not – mad at me?’

‘No. I could never be mad at anyone who has my best interests at heart.’

‘So that girl you went on a date with… are you not sad to see her again because… she didn’t really know you?’

‘No I’m just not interested in her. I won’t be seeing her again.’

‘Oh. So… are you dating someone else?’

Oikawa half-grinned and looked down, his long eyelashes dusting his cheeks. When he looked up again, Hinata felt the full impact of those eyes. Those eyes, that face, that Hinata had touched himself to every night for the past two weeks.

‘No,’ Oikawa said, his eyes twinkling in amusement. ‘I’m not dating anyone right now. What about you?’

‘Me?’

‘Are you dating anyone?’

‘No -’

‘Good.’

Oikawa smiled, his eyes like diamonds. Before Hinata could press, their food arrived and it blew everything out of the ballpark: the beef looked sumptuous, the rice was still steaming and the assortment of pickled vegetables were a perfect colourful addition to the meal. The beef arrived as a chunk of steak, with a knife in front of it. Both Hinata and Oikawa reached for the knife – Hinata’s finger hit the handle with too much force –

The knife clattered to the floor just under the bar –

‘I’m sorry! I’ll get it -’

‘No, it’s OK -’

Both Hinata and Oikawa hopped down, pulled their stools aside, and knelt, leaning forward, converging to a point, their hands outstretched, towards the knife –

But they had rushed the distance, they were too close –

Hinata’s cheek pressed against Oikawa’s and it was like an atomic bomb in Hinata’s heart – he gasped and quickly withdrew but Oikawa grabbed his hand. Hinata looked – and was thrown onto a bed of roses. Like that time on the sofa when he was bandaging Oikawa’s hands, the setter’s face was inches away, eyes burning, again with one hand holding his.

‘Careful chibi-chan,’ Oikawa murmured, his eyes seductive. So close that Hinata felt Oikawa’s breath on his lips. ‘I don’t want anything to happen to these precious hands that I hold so dear.’

Oikawa’s skin, his hand, his touch, his words, his care… feelings Hinata had thought dead were only dormant and now erupted to the surface – furious, unrelenting, unstoppable like a drop in a rollarcoaster – he could taste the excitement and fear on his tongue – feel it like a warm, fizzy, tangy sweet melting in his mouth.

These feelings…

Hinata had told himself he was grateful. That was it. The daily musings about Oikawa – it was because he was concerned and they’d been through a lot together. His nightly stimulation imagining the setter was something Hinata had not dared explore. His compulsive desire and yearning to keep seeing Oikawa, he couldn’t explain. The grief at parting had drowned out all the emotions from before. Hinata assumed those stayed locked in time and space during the blackout. Whenever he thought back to that weekend, to his time with Oikawa, to the bandages in the candlelight, the hugs in the dark, his palpitating heart, the thrill from the setter’s touch, the cravings to feel Oikawa’s body and inhale that luscious scent, to all of those new, tumbling, bubbling, overwhelming emotions – Hinata had found an explanation: it was because of the earthquake. That was all. Whenever he questioned himself, he blamed it on the earthquake. Those feelings had been turbo boosted from the shock, the trauma. And that was it.

But.

Now.

Now these feelings were here.

Again.

Alive.

Awake.

As fresh and moist as morning dew. And they –

… have nothing to do with the earthquake.